Thursday, November 6, 2008

Bargaining

I really suck at the depression stage of grief. I'm much better at the bargaining stage. The bargaining stage is the best because you can convince yourself that you actually might have a hope in hell of turning this whole infertility thing around by:

1. Spending a week eliminating every shred of clutter in your house (clutter in the house meaning clutter in the tubes) until every last toenail clipper has its own clear pocket in over-the-door organizers.

2. Eating exactly seven baby carrots every day for lunch. Seven is a lucky number and baby carrots are supposed to be good for cervical mucus. When your husband decides to tease you by putting less than seven carrots in your lunch you actually get really upset.

3. Buying expensive loose-fitting clothes that will fit you when you are pregnant. Think positive and enjoy the benefits of self-fulfilling prophecies!

4. Buying expensive tight-fitting clothes because you figure that you can't get screwed over twice and maybe the Finance Fairy is more vindictive than the Fertility Fairy.

5. Avoiding alcohol like the plague. Maybe only responsible people get pregnant.

6. Drinking like a fish because you realize that irresponsible people get pregnant ALL THE TIME. Britney Spears becomes your new inspiration.

I am really looking forward to that bargaining stage coming back around. I'm starting to get so depressed that I'm relieved when I manage to put together a matching pair of socks to wear to work.

Hope this was more fun to read than my last post.

5 comments:

familyoftwo98 said...

I don't know...I think maybe you should start drinking instead of avoiding it? Or my personal favorite...go on the pill and forget to take a few?

In all seriousness I wish you TONS of luck and I hope that you get your BFP for Christmas!!!

Rachie Pachie said...

I have done the de-clutter phase!! And the drinking and the clothes thing.

I like the above one... go on the pill & THEN you get pregnant *roll eyes*! How many times I've heard that... LOL

Welcome to the L&F blogosphere! :)

twondra said...

Welcome to blog world! It's addicting.

I too have been really depressed....I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you. You can always e-mail me if you need to talk. tammywondra@yahoo.com

(((HUGS)))

Just Me. said...

Hi. I'm here from Lost and Found. I had endo, uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts and polyps for a long time without even knowing it, though we had gone to two REs. It's been a real struggle for us too. I hit rock bottom after my lap, hysteroscopy and d&c earlier this year.

I hope your journey on this road ends soon.

((((hugs)))

Celia said...

I am right there with you.

I have refused for two years to buy clothes in my size because one size larger would leave room for a baby. At least I'm not the only one.

I also threw out all my "good" medicines because what if I got pregnant and forgot to get rid of them and then the baby found them.

I might as well just change my name from Celia to Irrational Irma.