I really suck at the depression stage of grief. I'm much better at the bargaining stage. The bargaining stage is the best because you can convince yourself that you actually might have a hope in hell of turning this whole infertility thing around by:
1. Spending a week eliminating every shred of clutter in your house (clutter in the house meaning clutter in the tubes) until every last toenail clipper has its own clear pocket in over-the-door organizers.
2. Eating exactly seven baby carrots every day for lunch. Seven is a lucky number and baby carrots are supposed to be good for cervical mucus. When your husband decides to tease you by putting less than seven carrots in your lunch you actually get really upset.
3. Buying expensive loose-fitting clothes that will fit you when you are pregnant. Think positive and enjoy the benefits of self-fulfilling prophecies!
4. Buying expensive tight-fitting clothes because you figure that you can't get screwed over twice and maybe the Finance Fairy is more vindictive than the Fertility Fairy.
5. Avoiding alcohol like the plague. Maybe only responsible people get pregnant.
6. Drinking like a fish because you realize that irresponsible people get pregnant ALL THE TIME. Britney Spears becomes your new inspiration.
I am really looking forward to that bargaining stage coming back around. I'm starting to get so depressed that I'm relieved when I manage to put together a matching pair of socks to wear to work.
Hope this was more fun to read than my last post.