So remember last week when I had the UTI that wasn't a UTI and then was a UTI and then wasn't a UTI again? That, combined with the fact that I strongly suspected my friend was about to tell me she was pregnant, proved to be just too much for me on Thursday morning. Somebody at work asked me how I was doing and I just fell apart and started sobbing. I was fine by the time the children arrived but crying in front of coworkers was really scary. I've cried almost daily this year and I've fought back tears at work a few times but I've never ever lost it in such an inappropriate and unprofessional way before.
Thank goodness my boss was wonderful about it. She knew that I wasn't myself and she called me to suggest that I see a father at our school who is a very good Urogynecologist. She also knew in advance that my friend was going to tell me she was pregnant so she came to my house and left a basket on my back porch with soup and cookies and DVD's. I just can't get over how nice that was.
Anyway, today I saw Dr. G. Last summer I showed Dr. G's kid how to add. Today I showed Dr. G my vagina. He was very professional about it but I think it might have been even more awkward for him than it was for me. I got to talk in detail about my sex life (or lack thereof) and then I got to look at a chart with pictures of poop on it and point to the ones that look like mine. Then he put a catheter in my bladder. Parent-teacher night will never ever be the same.
I can think of about a million things I would have rather done on a Saturday but in the end I am SO glad we went to see him. He thinks that my UTI symptoms are a complication from all the surgeries and procedures and that physical therapy will really help. He did not sound terribly impressed with my RE or my old Ob/Gyn and said he had some other people in mind for me to see if my endo has indeed returned and invaded my bladder. We'll know more about the endo next month when he does the cystoscopy (ouch!). I feel like someone is finally taking us seriously. Too bad he's not an RE.
If anybody out there has ever wondered about seeing a urogynecologist and wants to know more about it please let me know. They are wonderful wonderful people. I never used to have pain during pelvics and ultrasounds and when it started I really thought it was just psychological. I guess in a way it is psychological but he told me its a very normal consequence of infertility treatment and that its very treatable. I don't care how embarrassing that visit was if it helps me get my life back and feel like less of a freak.